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Of Mouses and Men

Matt Hoying: “Megan, remember our disagreement over the correct term for more than one computer mouse? Steve Caddell with the City of Mason emailed me a link that says that both MOUSES [Matt’s vote] or MICE [Megan’s vote] is correct.”

Kecia Flaute: “So EVERYBODY is right! But, Megan, it sounds like the term "mice" is MOSTLY right!”

Matt: “Why will no one ever acknowledge that I am right and Megan is wrong?”

Ah, the Internet, ultimate resolver of disagreements. It’s hard to remember how we sorted out disputes before Al Gore got around to inventing the World Wide Web for us.

Even with Wikipedia, there are still a few running quarrels here at Choice One that may never be settled. Like whether or not there were really breadsticks at lunch. Or whether Mitch Thobe is 5’7” (which he is) or 5’9” (which he claims). Or what morning Jeff Kunk is going to bring doughnuts. Oh wait, there’s no dispute  there, the correct answer is NEVER.

Right or wrong, Matt, you’re likely fighting a losing battle here: not only does Megan enjoy being right, she’s eight months pregnant, so it’s best not to cross her. Our advice is to just nod and agree with whatever she says. Like when she explains her “practical” reason for wearing plastic bags, or why she may have non-random Doritos stashed in her car.

P.S. If you happen to have a Choice One mouse, and it falls asleep on you, just hit enter on your keyboard to wake it up! Lazy mouses...

Stocking Stuffers

"I will leave it up to you if you want to file this photo under 'Francis being efficient,' or 'Francis with multiple opportunities for bad luck.'"
-Wes Goubeaux

There was once a time when we thought having more than one monitor might be excessive (and a time when smartphones were unessential and dial-up internet was fast). But to work efficiently in 2014, Ryan Francis needs four monitors for the computer to keep up with his breakneck speed.

We have a few others here who would like to be more efficient in this day and age. So if anyone is shopping for clever Christmas gifts for Choice One, here’s a few ideas:

• Jeff Puthoff would like someone to drive him around so that he could work while traveling between meetings; truthfully, he wants to nap while someone else drives.
• Brian Schmidt would like someone (or something) to hold his parking spot outside the door of the Loveland office--every time he leaves for lunch or a site visit he loses it and has to park behind the Choice One office (you know, like 100 yards away).
• Nick Selhorst would like someone to change the paper in the full-size plotter for him. If he kept score it would be Plotter: 7, Nick: 0.
• Wes Goubeaux would like lighted restroom sign (like on airplanes) so that he doesn’t walk all the way to the front of the office only to find both restrooms occupied.
• Michael Seeger would like someone to make sure there’s always fresh coffee in the break room. Because pushing the “brew” button and waiting three minutes is SO hard sometimes.

While Jeff Puthoff may not get his chauffeur any time soon and Nick will have to keep fighting the plotter, perhaps four monitors will be standard in the not-so-distant future--Wes already has three monitors for his computer. Perhaps Wes shouldn't be giving Ryan a hard time for “being efficient;” but he can absolutely continue to give Ryan a hard time about being unlucky.

#christmas

"What's a hashtag? Something on Tweeter?"
- Brian Barhorst

It's Christmastime here at Choice One, and that means preparing holiday gifts, putting up the office Christmas tree, and legendary Signing of the Christmas Cards. You see, all six hundred-some cards require an original signature from each of the 32 Choice Oners. Per person, this amounts to about 30 minutes of actual signing and about 30 hours analyzing the signing.

This year's card includes a few festive hashtags. Clearly, Brian Barhorst is not overly familiar with the hashtag phenomenon, nor is he familiar with that new-fangled "Tweeter" social networking service. It might not be a surprise, then, that we have a few other technology-unaware people around here. For instance, Tony likes to get on his "texting machine" to send messages. Sometimes he's even adept enough to (accidentally?) include an emoji*.

Thankfully, it only takes a simple Sharpie for Tony and everyone else to sign the Christmas cards. But even without technology, we still find ways to lovingly give each other a hard time during the Signing of the Christmas Cards. Like when someone doesn't sign the card per the instructions (ahem... Dan Perreira). As Greg remarked: "Perhaps Dan's hashtag should have been 'does not follow directions.'" But don't worry Dan, Brian Barhorst will have no idea how to find ANY hashtags referring to you on "Tweeter."

* That's a smiley face and the like, Tony.

It's Raining... Mustard

[CRASH!]
Brittany: "You alright in there?"
Brian "Goub" Goubeaux: "Yeah, the refrigerator is kicking my butt."

The refrigerator here at Choice One occasionally "kicks the butt" of those trying to squeeze in their lunch bag or find their favorite soda in The Canteen. Sometimes, trying to fit in a Tupperware of leftovers into the sardine-tight block of crowded shelves results in a whole lot of stuff crashing down in a cascade of expired salad dressings, old, wrinkled apples, and diet ginger ale (who requested THAT for The Canteen?!).

Other things overly full at Choice One?

• Bathroom space. The line gets long in the Sidney office after a company meeting (during which Tony hooks up his personal IV of coffee). 
• Our boots. With Michigan, Ohio State, Browns, Reds, Patriots, Bengals, and Steelers fans all in two offices, the sports talk gets pretty deep around here. 
• The Loveland refrigerated water jug. Oh wait, that's never full because Nick Selhorst never fills it back up. 

Goub, hope you didn't develop a concussion from the falling bottles of BBQ sauce and containers of dried-out, leftover pizza-we've all experienced "Refrigerator Tetris." Even Tony complains about the lack of space in the fridge when there's too much of that "crap" Bud Light and not enough room for his "fancy" craft brews.

Hidden Talents

“My picture went out on that mailer this week, so I figured the office would be getting a lot more phone calls.”

Dan Perreira

The jury’s still out as to whether Dan’s photo on a recent mailer has triggered a spike in phone calls, but don’t worry Dan, there’s no reason why those phones won’t be ringing aaaaaaaaaaaany day now.

Dan is clearly awesome in photographs, but all of our guys in the field have notable talents and interests you may be unaware of. For instance:

• Ryan Francis is a pro at fluffing tails and wiping noses. (He and his family raise and show championship dairy cattle, including the recent Supreme Championat the World Dairy Expo).
• Jeff North is an accomplished fisherman and photographer. So his “big fish” stories are backed up with photographic evidence.
• Eric Kuck is a pro at restoring [red] International Harvester farm machinery. Too bad he has to wear [John Deere] green every day.
• Craig Frilling belongs to his hometown’s Volunteer Fire Department. His enthusiasm for fighting fires (especially the big, hot ones) will even prompt him to jump right out of his clothes to keep cool. He's also been know to play a pretty "mean" Easter Bunny.

Ultimately, any positive results from this mailer will be credited to Dan. However, Dan, if you want a little advice, Kaye would tell you that to really get the phone ringing around here, just invoice the Governor.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

"Believe it or not, you guys, gray isn't our natural hair color."

- Jeff Puthoff

Next Friday, October 24th, marks the 20th anniversary of Choice One Engineering. It also marks the 20th anniversary of Jeff Puthoff's awesome African safari tie (or are those eagles, Jeff?). Some of the "young punks" here, as Jeff would call them, don't know a Choice One without Jeff's gray hair, everyday green shirts, and afternoon coffee. Heck, they don't even remember the typewriter and the fax machine.
A few other things have changed since 1994 besides the graying of Tony's and Jeff's hair (sorry Tom, if you're reading this from retirement, there's no denying your hair was already gray). For instance:

• The Sidney/Shelby County area code was 513 and not 937. Those of us old enough to remember 513 can probably recall what a big deal the change was, especially when dialing on a rotary phone. Dialing "937" took so much longer!

• The internet, email, and cell phones were still just the "next big thing," just likewipe warmers and Diaper Genies are nowadays.

• Brian "Barney" Barhorst was still a humble resident of Fort Loramie and not Minster.

• Our Loveland office space was a Clermont County branch of the Bureau of Motor Vehicles. 

• Some Choice One employees (such as summer help Camille and co-op Lexi) weren't even born yet.

If you'd like to take a walk down the Choice One memory lane with us, check out more photos here. You'll see a little less gray hair and a few more eagle/safari ties, but we hope you notice that the spirit of Choice One in place in 1994 has only grown in the past 20 years. Thanks to everyone--clients, spouses, families, advisers, and friends--who has helped us along the way. Here's to another 20 years of enjoyment.

Happy birthday Choice One!