Friday, May 30, 2014

What's in a Name?

"Hey! Those all belong to me. They all have my name on them."
Tyler Thobe


If you can’t tell from the photo, Tyler is surrounded by the Ty Brand Beanie Babies we used for the recent Choice One Charity Cup. Each one has a little tag on it that says “Ty,” so Ty felt they all belonged to him. Or were at least named after him.

That got us thinking:  what other children’s toys/cartoons could be associated with Choice One staffers?*
  • The Toys ‘R’ Us mascot, Geoffrey the Giraffe has a lot in common with Jeff Puthoff. Jeff is tall and awkward, and was blonde once, before he started going grey.
  • The children’s cartoon dinosaur Barney could certainly take his name from Choice One’s Barney (Brian Barhorst). Brian loves purple and green and is almost as old as a dinosaur.
  • While the “Geekman Action Figure” is not specifically named “Mitch” or “Matt,” we know that his name would be Mitch or Matt if he had a name, because they’re both traffic geeks.
As a final point, unlike Jeff, Barney, Mitch and Matt (who each have something in common with their name-sharing counterpart), Ty doesn't share the characteristics of the Beanie Babies he has. Except maybe the turkey. And the goose.

*You may think we missed an obvious one here, but there is no correlation between Tony Schroeder and the Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes mascot Tony the Tiger. Tony Schroeder is neither a tiger nor does he eat sugary cereal. We won’t comment whether or not he’s “GRRRRRRRRRRREAT!”

Friday, May 16, 2014

Paid Vacation

Recent text message conversation between Tony and Brittany (YES! Tony knows how to text!):


We’re still collecting donations to help send Tony away on another long bicycle ride (thanks to all of you who have already made private donations—we won’t reveal your identity to Tony). However, we’re one step closer, as Tony ordered a new bike and it arrived recently while he was out of the office.

With Tony away again, we could repurpose his office for poker games, ping-pong, and buffets. But that got us thinking: if we could send a few more people away, what could we “accomplish” around here?
  • If we could send Brian Barhorst away, we could abuse The Canteen. (Oh wait, we already do that…)
  • If we could send Wes Goubeaux away, we would NOT have to hear about the Chicago Cubs every single day.
  • If we would send Michael Seeger, Ryan Lefeld, and Eric Kuck away, we could stop having to endlessly discuss all the frilly details of their upcoming weddings. Really guys, you should stop stressing so much over flower arrangements, how to drape the tulle on the head table, and deciding which cufflinks the groomsmen should wear. 

While all that does sound tempting, we’re probably best when we’re together—we have and can accomplish pretty great things as a team. You know, like eating more pizza than the average American and “helping” each other out when it’s time to do the dirty work.

Friday, May 2, 2014

The Cheesiest

Greg: "You have a random bag of Doritos in your car right now?"
Megan: "There’s no such thing as a random bag of Doritos."


We take our snacks seriously here, if you haven’t noticed. But as our resident Eagle Scout Brian Barhorst can tell us, the point here is that of the Boy Scouts: “Always be prepared.”

Lots of us here have random (and non-random) items in our cars. There are lots of practical items, like a manhole hook, a safety vest, or jumper cables. But there are seemingly less practical items, too, until their convenience is linked to the driver of the vehicle:

  • Brittany keeps a feather bed in the back of her minivan, and Kaye keeps a pillow and blanket right there on-hand in the backseat. You never know when the opportunity may arise for a good nap.
  • Jeff Puthoff maintains a fine coating of soybean dust in his car. You know, for farmer purposes.
  • Tony keeps two- and three-year-old Choice One Christmas gifts in his trunk in case he needs an emergency snack. Nothing like three-year old Oreos and Twizzlers to avoid diabetic shock.
  • Allen Bertke reports that he has a half-bag of cold patch (for asphalt repair) in his car. Apparently he’s taking this winter’s pothole situation into his own hands…
Whether it’s a bag of popsicle sticks and a funnel (Michael Seeger) or a four-foot level (Brian Schmidt), all of us at Choice One maintain a healthy ration of randomness. And Megan’s right, there is no such thing as a random bag of Doritos; in this office, we don’t let those delicious, cheesy delicacies randomly sit around for long.